For the author it's very important to interact with the readers, to transmit real feelings of his characters in order we can feel deeply their emotional states and sympathize with them. In attempt to achieve this goal the writer uses different stylistic devices, writes about some events from his own experience and describes his own emotions thereby we can feel the same. In the film we can feel the atmosphere of growing suspense by hearing the music, looking on the facial expressions of the main heroes. In the book the best way to convey the intensitive atmosphere is to describe weather conditions, as we face with it every day and know quite well how different natural disasters influence on our mood.
The most vivid example of the connection of nature with the main character is "The thunderstorm" written by Ostrovsky. Here, natural conditions fit the feelings of a young girl Kate. Everytime she feels utterly depressed, miserably and useless, we read about dark clouds above her head, peals of thunder and splashes of lightning. This weather conditions describes best the atmosphere of desrair and sooner suicide.
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The task is done wonderfully.I liked the idea of your thought.The correspondence of the content to the topic,the logical order of the text and the layout are achieved successfully.As to the grammatical and lexical components of the text,they are followed very thoroughly and appropriately.I like the example of another description of natural disaster and human feelings you have chosen for comparison.
ОтветитьУдалитьBut there are some things I'd like to change in your word choice:
-I would put just "so" instesd of "thereby", or put "and" before "thereby",
-I'd like to chgange the phrase "a young girl Kate", as it refers to the 19th centuty and "young Kate" would be more appropriate here,
-And the last thing I'd like to change is the word combination "sooner suicide", we speak about an unpleasant inevitability, about tragedy, so "forthcoming" would be the most suitable equivalent.
To my mind Evgenia succeeded in dealing with this task. She clearly expressed her point of view, didn't forget about paragraphing and used link words, such as "thereby". She also knows how to make her piece of writing more colorful by using epithets and other stylistic devices.
ОтветитьУдалитьThough I found some mistakes:
- the use of preposition "with" after the verb "to face" [face with it]. I would put it this way: as we face them [conditions];
- the use of preposition "on" after the verb "to influence" [disasters influence on our mood]. I would suggest: disasters influence our mood.
- and I think it would be more appropriate to use the word "flashes" instead of "splashes" when you write about lightning, as the word "splashes" is commonly used in describing heavy waves in the sea or in the ocean.
I liked this afternoon page. I wouldn't like to change anything. The the idea was not left unexpanded.
ОтветитьУдалитьJust some grammar mistakes:
• in order we can feel - in order for us to feel
• maybe characters instead of heroes
• face with it - face it
• to have influence on smb but to influence smb
• maybe connection between the weather and the main character instead of the connection of nature with the main character
• "The Thunderstorm"
• maybe emphasize or correspond instead of fit
• maybe best of all or the best instead of just best
• sooner - sudden or just an attempt of
• and just a slip of a pen - desr(p)air
=>.<=
couldn't find my comment >.<
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